Attack of the Fire Breathing Monster

This morning was no different than usual, I was rushing, borderline late, to leave for work. I kissed my husband, jumped in my truck, started it up, waited for him to get in his truck, and it happened.

PC was half way into his truck and he jumped out and started jumping up and down and yelling something.  Then, he came back into the garage and started banging on my window. This must be serious. My heart skipped a beat.  First thought that crossed my mind was someone was dead in the front yard, followed closely by a thought that the neighborhood pest cat was in our yard with kittens. My heart was beating rather rapidly when I switched off my ignition and followed PC out into the yard.  It wasn’t a dead body or kittens, rather it was a fire breathing monster, or that’s what PC thought it was. 

This is his story:

I almost died this morning.

Luckily, though, my wife was there to save me (again)! Everything was going along fine, I woke up from a restful nights sleep, ate breakfast and went to leave for work. But when I walked out the door to get to my truck, the unexpected happened!

I was attacked by monster-sized, fire-breathing spider! It was a huge. It was massive. I barely squeezed out of its massive grip so that I could run back into the garage and bang on the side of Anna’s truck before I passed out.

To save me from any more impending dangerous attacks, she raced outside to slay the evil demon spider. But when their eyes met, she couldn’t believe how “cute” the spider was, so she decided to make friends. They even had their pictures taken together.

I don’t know where I would be today if she hadn’t saved me from the foul predatory invertebrate. (I sort of feel bad for my neighbor though, because I think something horrible might have happened to his pet tarantula.)

Usually, these stories end with some spiritually encouraging words. Not this one. It’s hard to inject moments of truth into such an extremely fabricated story.

No insects were harmed in the making of this story.

Fire Breathing Monster

Obviously, this is a tarantula, and a smaller one, just 4″ in length, including legs, as pictured. I thought about picking it up, but considering my husband’s reaction, above, I decided to leave it alone. I’m sure it was as terrified.  It continued slowly on its way south, toward the neighbor’s house.  Later, maybe this evening, I will try to identify the exact species.

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2 responses to “Attack of the Fire Breathing Monster

  1. PC is going to give Anna a heart-attack one day with all these “near-death” experiences.

  2. I totally would have screamed like a sissy too.